Even though that’s what you want right…
It sounds strange doesn’t it… to be fearful of what might happen. But you’ve been doing this over and over again. What you don’t realise is that you are reliving the same experiences, so you are creating a predictable future.
“Anticipatory anxiety” is a term for when you feel overwhelmed by a fear of what might happen, even if it’s the kind of success we crave, like becoming pregnant. Our minds jump ahead to anticipate all of the things that could go wrong.
You do this by projecting the past – the past failures, the past BFNs, the lost embryos, the losses, onto the future. You don’t let go of the past. We expect or anticipate the poor outcome. We do this when we say, “I just know it’s not my month” or “It will be a BFN, I know it!”
It’s not your fault because this is what the brain is hard-wired to do, to predict the outcomes, the future based on what you know. Our neurological wiring favours what we knowso that we can respond swiftly and efficiently to any (real or perceived) threat.
The more we step into the unfamiliar, the more we feel fear and worry.
That’s why it’s so important to break the cycle of repeated patterns and repeated negative thinking because if you don’t know matter what treatment you try, what “fix” or “hack” you attempt, the outcome will be the same as the past.
It’s time to do something different.
This is about healing the past so you can move forward into a new future.
How I hear you ask!
It’s about healing and coming to terms with what’s happened, sitting with those feelings and reflecting on what was needed that you didn’t get. So, you learn what is needed in the future. Forgiving and letting go of what cannot be changed. Accepting what was and what is.
Then you need to become aware of the negative thought patterns. The more aware you are, the more you can disrupt it with the rational thoughts, for instance, “what if it is positive?”, or “what if this month is different?”
You want to start thinking about the possibilities and telling yourself if everything goes well what would I need to be the mother I want to be – if it’s suport, then you can think about what kind, who from and where to get it.
Anticipate the good things that can happen…