Yesterday was World Mental Health Day… awareness is so key and I’m all for it. When I came into this work over 5 years ago there wasn’t nearly enough people talking about mental health and certainly no one was talking about it in connection to infertility.
It’s quite possibly a heavy week for some more so, as World Mental Health Day (10 October) coincides with Baby Loss Awareness week (9-15 October).
For anyone who is struggling with miscarriage or baby loss, know that it is normal for it to impact your mental health – it’s not that you can’t cope, it’s a natural response to a traumatic life event.
Going through baby loss and/or infertility is hard! Often when we meet doctors, experts or professionals it can seem very clinical, and mainly physical. Yet I think the mental and emotional impact on you is far greater than the physical. The mental and emotional scars can’t be seen but they’re there and they take far longer to heal.
Every day is different, from one day to the next we can be up and down. With World Mental Health Day, we got to throw a spotlight on the fact that it’s okay to not be okay. But that wasn’t just yesterday – that’s a message for every day.
We all have mental health and to varying degrees we will all be affected by something in our lives that will have a detrimental effect on our mental health.
Infertility without a doubt was one of the hardest things I’ve gone through. 2019 was one of the toughest years for my family that I have experienced.
I always say – no one gets through this life unscathed, but it’s not what happens to us, it’s what we do in response to what happens to us that is important.
So if you’re struggling right now, it’s okay, it will pass and it may become your pivotal experience in your life. And when you’re in the storm it’s okay to not be okay.
This mental health day and in fact this last half of 2021 my mantra is:
𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭
Psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself exactly as I am, then I can change.”
Often when we are struggling the last thing, we are is kind to ourselves. This journey to motherhood is tough, I think one of the most difficult things a person can go through – yet I know, being kind to ourselves doesn’t come easy and the question is why? We find compassion so easy for others and not for ourselves and it’s time to change that.
It’s not always easy to accept your flaws, to accept the imperfect bits, to accept the darker, terrible bits. But they all co-exist within every one of us… the lovely and not so lovely side by side.
Today and every day learn to love all of You, learn to love the imperfections, learn to love the darkness, in the way that you so easily accept your light.
Remember without the dark, the light cannot get in
Reflect on this:
How can I accept myself exactly as I am?